Monday, July 27, 2009

Crying and smiling all before dinner.

(O.k. for those unfamiliar with me. I am one of the true night owls. Anyways my point is that most of my stuff will probably be posted, much like this one, late at night. That's just the way I am. I do my best work late at night. )

Monday July 27, 2009 was an odd one. Both frustrating, upsetting, and in the end satisfying. I made some bad choices and shirked my home duties (dishes and laundry and other things). While to some that may seem small to my wife it was just a lot of hassle she didn't need. Her work has been incredibly hard the past few months, her mother was admitted to the hospital on Friday, she has been having her own health issues recently and lately things at home have just been hectic. Since I work evenings she has no one to support her and today was the straw that broke her back. However we talked and talked and we both cried. In being selfish I honestly had no clue how much stress she was feeling right now. I should have but I didn't. Now I know and as God as my witness it wont happen again.

Due to some personal stuff and work I've allowed myself to be very inactive creatively lately. However I feel a change deep inside and this blog is the first step on the road to where I want to be. The other day with only a mechanical pencil and an eraser I drew a picture of a starfish that actually made me proud. It was a piece of scrap done in less than an hour and yet I felt so good afterwards. I presented it to Kathy like a child anxiously hoping she would like my doodle. I can't call it much more than that but it opened something. Today I've been visiting some of my favorite writing websites. The stories there have gotten the wheels in my head turning again. I feel more empowered already.

2 comments:

Frank Jenkins said...

Power to the Peeps! You go boy! As some crazed fan said at a Hank Williams Jr. concert that me and the late Scott Hinkle went to, "Don't be scared of 'em, sing it boy!"

Jai Joshi said...

I hope you're wife starts feeling better and that her mother gets well soon.

That's brilliant news about your creative motivation returning. I'm doing the happy dance for you!

Jai