Death

I'm still having technical difficulties with the blog but I am determined to continue for now.

I'm asking that everyone who gives a fig please keep my grandmother in your thoughts. We pretty much were told today that she's dying and it could be at anytime. Of course that also means it could be a week or two as well and that's the hardest part I think, sometimes.

Elizabeth Hess is ninety years old, she was born in 1919 and a better or more compasionate woman you would be hard pressed to find. She met my grandfather in the small coaltown where she grew up at a church revival. In 1930's appalachian coaltowns church revivals were about as exciting as it got. My grandfather went to the revival just to meet her. So there ya go. No one said coal miners were dumb.

Their first child died in the crib, now they call it Infant Death Syndrome. Back then it was just death. However next came my aunt Shirley and my father Charles. Grandma and grandpa bought their home in 1952, going through some old boxes I found her property tax receipts from 1952 to 1967. God knows what happened after that but she kept everything she could.

My mom and dad finally divorced sometime around the time I was 3 or 4. After some rocky experiences with my mom, I was put in the custody of my dad. When bills and such got too much; Dad and I moved in with my grandmother when I was in second grade, so I was about 7 or 8.

From that point on she raised me. Her unofficial third child I suppose. She was a christian and did her best to walk the walk and talk the talk and raise me right. Unfortunately I had way too much of my dad in me. Still a lot of my moral character is due to her. She kept that house emmaculate. I remember how she do her ironing timed to the commercial breaks of her favorite soaps. I actually began watching Guiding Light because she wouldn't let me watch anything until after it was over when I came home from school.

I am what I am because of her.

I know right now people can't post comments. Right now though I had to write this to cope a bit. She's suffering and there isn't a damn thing I can do to stop it. It's tearing me up inside.

O.K. Let's try this again.

It's been a while and I've been a bad bad boy. However I'm trying to get this thing off the ground again. So here's hoping.

A quick update. With the help of my wonderful wife I did finish my story in time and submitted to the publishier. It took two and half days to get my rejection. HOWEVER I did make the short list. To do so your first time out is pretty amazing and I'm totally stoked. Working on others as we speak I'm feeling the need to start collecting rejections until I get that lucky break.

Well here's hoping this works I have to go give the kid a bath, I'll post more later. This time I promise.

Hey remember me?

Okay I am sorry for the long delay. As you all know I went to Disney world. One incredible trip my friends one incredible trip. As soon as I got back my schedule was changed from 4 to midnight to 11 to 7, overnight. So between that and school starting and dealing with my grandmother I have been a little lax. Forgive me.

Also I've been told by more than one person there seems to be an issue with people leaving comments on here. I will investigate and see what's going on, please be patient.

I am so psyched lately. I'm taking the plunge. I'm reopened and old piece that never got past the opening and working on it. I found out about a publisher that is working on a collection of anthologies. The deadline is in December and I've decided this will be the one that busts my cherry. I do not expect to be accepted but that's not the point right now. It's to get myself into finishing and submitting things. Eventually I feel it will happen but only if I actually do something. So wish me luck.

Evan's first week of school is going smoother than last year. Of course last year he wasn't on his medication. He is ADHD, for real, and last year was a nightmare. There is a big difference this year. We still have other issues but things are looking up.

We came home and Grandma was still in the hospital. She had been moved to transitional care for about 10 days. She is home now. I know a lot of people told me that pacemakers are lifesavers and to expect a huge increase in her energy level. Well it ain't happening. She is so weak and tired all the time. I'd be lying if I didn't say how worried I really am about her. Her spirits are high because she's home and she does have a bit more of an appetite. Still getting out of her chair takes her breath. It's scary. I know she turns 90 soon but she means the world to me and no matter how prepared you are and objective about the circle of life. Watching your parents or grandparents deteriorate like this SUCKS big time.

Well I'm off to work on my fantasy story. Again wish me luck.

Disney, Disney, here we come!!!!!!!

It's finally here, the day is finally here.

Around 4pm Myself, Kathy, Evan, my in-laws, both brother in laws, one sister in law, two nephews,and two nieces all board a plane for Orlando, Fl. Final destination DISNEYWORLD. First time flying since I was 3yrs old, obviously the first time flying for Evan. This is what we've been working so hard for, for so long. My car is missing a muffler and is currently six months past due getting an inspection. We've been making Scrooge real proud.

A dream I thought would never happen. When Evan was real young and people would come to our house and see all the Disney films they would often say we seem to have gone overboard. The thing is I had most of those long before Evan was born. I'm a big Disney freak. Yes even though I admit at times they can get a bit corney and stale. Still certain of their films just light me up.

Disney is something I gave up on a long time ago. This is going to be fantastic. Kathy and I have recently survived a very rocky period of our marriage and are closer than we've been in years. Evan is finally beginning to understand there are reprucussions for his actions and he is regretting them. We may not be rich but we are a strong family and right now I am in a very good place.

Anywho I wont be around for about a week, unless sis in law brings her laptop and let's me borrow it. Still I look forward to it all. There's got to be a few stories in this. YEEHAWW!!!!!!!

Thank you God, thank you.

Well it's over. My 89yr old grandma, so far, has come through the operation with flying colors. They took her in shortly after 4pm and it lasted just a little longer than an hour. She is recovering and doing well. She even woke up enough to talk to those in the room. I've spoken to so many people who have had relatives get pacemakers and they all talk about the experience positively. A low heart rate would explain her weakness, frailty, and possibly account for some of her cognitive problems. Those that believe please keep hre in your prayers. Thank you dear lord.

So what will it be the chance of a lifetime or a the worse vacation ever?

So just five days until the whole family; Kathy, Evan, myself, her parents, her brother, his wife, their two children, her other brother, his two children, takes off (literally) for Disney World. To say I'm excited is like saying Bill Clinton likes to flirt a little with women. The last time I was ever on a plane I was three years old and I've never been to Disney. Which for those that know me know that seems a bit weird. As I grew older though I had pretty much written off the idea as something I would never be able to afford. However thanks to her parents, pooling our resources, and scrimping every penny in a grand ole' Scrooge tradition for the last 9 months we are about to do what I had considered impossible.

Or are we?

Saturday my aunt came and took my Grandmother to the mall to get her hair done. Grandma had seemed really weak that morning but she always enjoyed getting out with my aunt. She began zoning out while at JcPenney's hair salon. Then when my aunt tried to get her into the car, grandma was incapable of standing even for a moment. My aunt called my uncle he got her up for a second and she fainted on him. They got her into the car and drove to the hospital. Her heart beat was in the low 40's and staying there. She was admitted and they watched her over the weekend. Today her heart doctor says they're going to have to put in a pacemaker. Whamo! Bamo! He already scheduled it for tomorrow.

My first instinct is to pray, remain positive, and still plan on going. But I'll be honest, I'm scared.
My left leg is shaking wildly as my nerves are racing and I can't seem to stop it. I want to take Evan to Disney so bad and to be honest I want to go so bad as well. However this is my grandma and to be equally as honest she is the woman that raised me, she is my mother in a very real sense. I'm scared plain and simple.

(***WARNING PRE-REQUISITE WHINING IS ABOUT TO BEGIN***)

Why can't life just leave me alone for a little while? Honestly would it have screwed up the cosmos that bad to just let me have a really fantastic vacation for once?

(***We now return you to your program already in progress.***)

Grandma turns 90 on september 30th of this year. Although I read up a bit and putting pacemaker's in the elderly is becoming more and more common. It still seems so risky. Did I mention I'm scared?

I know losing your parents is part of life. I know she's lived a full and rich life. I know whatever happens she will always live on in my heart and memories. However I selfishly want to keep her around as long as possible. Age and senility has already robbed me of the woman she once was but I'm still not ready to let go just yet.

Keep us all in your prayers please.

What a bummer of a day.

O.k. let's try this again. A friend who tried to post a comment on here and couldn't emailed me and let me know. I then did a little digging around and found that others were having similiar issues with the comment feature using other backgrounds. So I went ahead and changed it back to a normal one for now. I will figure something out eventually and I am seriously bummed out about the whole thing.

Today was yet another day of mandatory (forced) overtime at my job. Which sucks. I am very protective of my days off and for the last two months they've been forcing it down our throats. I am not a happy camper. Yes the paycheck is a little bigger but it still makes me angry.

I'm wiped out actually and so I'll keep this one short for now.